There’s this girl named Porscha. I use to have a thing for her and lowkey, I still do. I wanted her to be “bae” at one point. That was until…I found out about the “real” her.
It all started with a follow. Then, I followed her back. I had seen her around campus and I thought that she was cute. I guess she saw me on her TL and thought I was funny, because I KNOW that it wasn’t my looks.
Anywho, everything was pretty nice for awhile. She was subtweeting me, retweeting, and favoriting my tweets. I was mentioning her and we were interacting. She had a pretty face and a sexy waist. In fact, I’m convinced she was the reason we moved on to Facebook, because she was too hot for MySpace.
After awhile she started speaking to me on campus, but I noticed something. She would really only speak to me when her clique was around. I’ve got to tell yal, she almost made me feel like I had some juice for awhile! One time I saw her when she was leaving the library. She was like “Heeeeey!” and one of her friends told her “Porscha! Leave that boy alone!” And when she thought that she walked far enough away, she said to her friend “What? He’s so cute!”
Another time, I saw her at the Ques pool party. I was leaving and she pulled up beside me and said, “Hey baby!” And I said “Hey!” I kept my cool though. Then she was like “Baby, when you gon text me?” And I said, “Whenever.” I told yal I KEPT MY COOL!!!!! Then the homies rolled up behind her and shouted, “Big Dude Making Big Moves!!!!!!” Next, the unexpected happened. She put the car in park, got out, and walked over to me. Here I am thinking that she was about to either hit me, muff me, put her finger on my forehead and tell me about myself, etc. But then she put her hand on my shoulder, looked me in my eyes with this baby face, and started singing “Can I come over?” That COMPLETELY caught me off guard! Especially because she could actually sing! That moment really complicated things. A couple of days later, I found out that she can cook too!
Things started to get really complicated, because in my mind I already knew who she was. You see, when I followed her back on Twitter, I saw a lot of her…back. She was always posting pics of herself with a “minimal” amount of clothing. As a matter of fact, about a year before, I saw her at Pajama Jam in a long-sleeved button-down shirt and a thong. For most of the night, she had the shirt unbuttoned. It was a nice thong though; it was cheetah print. Now if that wasn’t bad enough, it gets worse. During the very short time that I followed her on Twitter, she was ALWAYS fighting with somebody! She was always cussing! It was clear that she was full of drama and I was NOT willing to take on her and her drama. On the outside, she really was blessed. But aside from her singing and cooking, she wasn’t really wifey material.
This really saddened me, because OH, yal just don’t know how I really really wanted her! “It” was real! I was dang near walking around like “I’ll pay your rent! I’ll buy your clothes! I’ll cook your dinner too! As soon as I get home from work!”
After awhile, I figured that I’d use her for one of the things she’s good for; I followed her on Instagram. Why is that important? Because one day, she posted a pic that said, “I’m not looking for a 10. Just a loyal 7.” Yal just don’t know how bad that I wanted to be that 7! I’m a 6.7 on a good day…a really good day. But I’d like to think that I’m loyal. I’d like to think that I’m not going to purposely go out there and embarrass my future bae. In my mind, I was like “Oh GIRL! Must you limit your options??? Give this 5.4 a chance to run a 3.2 and make you the one for me! Give a big dude making big moves a chance.”
But it never happened. It never happened and I’m alright with that. In this particularly case, I’d much rather write about it than experience it. Let’s just say that I know now that we would’ve had more of a “til’ depth do us part” relationship than one that was “til’ death do us part.” In other words, the chick just wasn’t that deep.