Tag Archives: Blogger

I’m SO EXCITED and I Just Can’t Hide It!

I’ve got my eyes on food! Food’s everything that I see! I want a cup, plate, and a napkin in front of me! I can’t get over food! Just bring me something to eat! I want a cup, plate, and a napkin in front of me!

Okay. Okay. I was excited yal. I just came from the Doctor’s office and I got some blood work done. For those of you that are not familiar with getting your blood tested, that effectively means you can’t eat for a few hours (and by a few hours I mean 12 to 24 hours).

I was FAMISHED! I hadn’t eaten since about 10 last night and my appointment was at 3:30 p.m. I was irritable and impatient with people in traffic (even more than usual), my mouth would stay dry, and I was lackadaisical. I sang to my food you guys! I was in my car like “As sooooon as I get hoooome!” I’m excited! I’m excited! I’M EXCITED!!!!!

Okay, gotta go. See ya.

NOT How I Wanted To Start My Day

As I was backing out of the driveway, this cop passed me by. After I got a little way down the road, I looked in my mirror and saw the cop turning around. Did I panic, no? Fast-forward five seconds later and there were six police cars down the street. SIX!!!!! And they were all split on both sides of the street!

Now THIS made me nervous!!!!! Some of them were out of their cars and they started walking in the middle of the road as I pulled up.

What happened? Surprisingly nothing. Nothing at all. I guess every run in with the police doesn’t have to be bad. BUT sometimes you won’t have any woes to ride thru the SIX with.

Make it a great day people.

A Message To Bae

I am a poet. I hold the arsenal. I have the power to bring you to your knees screaming, “Baby baby PLEASE” like Dwayne Wayne.

I am a poet, but I don’t know if I have all the words to describe all of the captivating feelings that I have for you. Even further, I don’t know if you’d even read them.

I write, because it is the only way I get to see me in your eyes. My goal is to write about you so much that I cut you deep and you start bleeding ink. Maybe then you’ll write about me too. Bleed that ink onto paper and use your skin as the pen. Maybe if I’m special, you’ll write about how you want me to pin you up against the wall like the masterpiece that you are.

I want to touch you inappropriately. I want to walk my fingers from the tip of your chin to the small of your waist; leaving nothing overlooked and treating nothing as if it’s misplaced. I want my words to feel as though they’re fingertips tracing the curves of your hips. I want my gaze to have the capability of holding you in place and have you LOVE occupying that space. Every time I take a breath, I’d love to glance over and see that you stopped breathing. Searching, waiting, and longing for the next wave of poetic melodies to flow from my lips. I want every word that flows from my lips to make you fall deeper and deeper under my spell. And I hope it’s a trance that you never loop out of.

I want to write something in such a way that it leaves your heart quivering for days. I want to speak and watch my energy capture your soul. I want your favorite part of me to be my mind, because you’re always on it.

Just know that as I pray for you, I’m preying for your thoughts too. And when I count my blessings, I always make sure to count you at least twice. And even a third time for good measure. You have my heart and knowing it’s in good hands brings me great pleasure.

Sincerely,

The Guy That Has No Chance

Don’t Let The Bedbugs Bite

I can’t help but laugh. Can I tell yal a story about this bug that flew in my room? I kept hearing this noise, but I couldn’t figure out what it was. I started hearing the noise more clearly and it sounded like it was coming from behind my head (there was a window behind my head). I started getting the feeling that it was a bee, so I went to get some bee spray.

I came back in my room and I could see it. FORTUNATELY it wasn’t a bee, BUT…unfortunately I went to spray the bug and THE SPRAY CAN WAS JAMMED!!!!!!! Did I panic? No. I went to get a paper towel from my bathroom. Ok, well…maybe I went and got more than one paper towel (BUT that’s neither here nor there). FORTUNATELY, the bug was still in the same spot when I got back. And it only took me two swipes to get it!

The first time I missed and it landed on my pillow.

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I’m not going to lie to yal; I might’ve screamed a little bit. But ooooh that second time! That second time I was triumphant! I had a triumphant moment!

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I was like “ME! BY MYSELF!!!!!!!!” It would’ve been nice to have someone like her to come celebrate my triumphant moment with me, but ehhh dreams don’t always come true.

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And that’s my story of the night. Hope yal enjoyed your bedtime story.

All photos, links, and videos used are not my own. I take absolutely POSITIVELY no credit for them or their original thoughts.

Lemonade

It’s funny, because people say that I’m not serious; but they take me seriously. I laugh so hard, because I know how sadness feels. It’s easy for most people to be sad, but I’m not most people. I have found ways to make it easy for me to laugh. And if the world laughs along with me, I don’t care. If the world doesn’t laugh along with me, then so be it. That’s yals choice.

Stuff just happens in life and I feel that stuff gets handled better if you laugh at it. Yesterday, I needed a good laugh and the Lord sent me one! I was at Kroger buying Gatorade and Powerade, because they were 69 cents. As I was putting them in my car, one of the bags busted. A few of them started to roll away, but I got them. I put them in the car and got ready to drive. As I was backing out, this guy pulls into the spot next to me and I got on my break. After that, I proceeded to back out and I heard this big POP and splatter! I found out QUICKLY that I didn’t get all of the Gatorades off the ground. Long story short, I ran over one of the Gatorades and just drove off like nothing happened.

The ONLY thing that could’ve made that better is if the guy would’ve tried to get out as that happened! OH I WAS IN TEARS!!!! At that point, I didn’t even care that that was wasted money! It was COMPLETELY worth my 69 cents!

Anywho, that’s how I conquered a situation that could’ve sent me from 0 to 100 real quick. This was my story for the day.

A Letter To Donald Trump

Dear Donald,

First of all, congratulations on your latest campaign success. You are a true patriot and an example of the American way. From the small loan of a million dollars to the rhetoric of the “establishment” that trickles off your tongue. You are the perfect example of consistency being key. You ran campaign after campaign until you became a presidential nominee and you should take much pride in that. It is a huuuuge accomplishment.

As entertaining as you have been throughout this process, I have just a few things that I take issue with. There are so many other things that you could be doing, sir. Mr. Trump, why not make the Lakers great again? Why not make America DATE again? Young people are losing their virginity left and right (both literally and figuratively), so why not make America WAIT again?

I only bring this up, because I can’t see what isn’t so GREAT about America. As a young Black male, the “establishment” informs me of the ways that I should or should not dress, groom, and speak; but that same “establishment” won’t hire me. Instead of working for free, the “establishment” actually forces ME to pay THEM to allow me to work. And because of people like you, people that don’t look like you have a rigorous time making a better way of life for themselves. At what point is any of this not GREAT?

It’s not that I dislike you Donald. In fact, I’d like to dislike you, but I dislike that I like you. As easy as it would be to dislike you and all of the racist, sexist, self-entitled, white supremacist bigotry that spews from your lips, I can’t help but like you. Even though you bring out the best of the in America, you truly might be on the verge of making America GREAT. All of the words that were once unspoken are being verbalized! The oozing amount of “closet” racism that has been “hidden” in plain sight for so long is not being given to us in pharmaceutically approved dosages anymore. And quite frankly, I’m excited, because maybe now people will finally realize that racism still exist. Maybe just MAYBE the masses will finally see that discrimination is still done by color, creed, and tongue. Maybe things will start to change.

Maybe we’ll see more businesses that are Equal Opportunity Employers have employees that demonstrate and display equal opportunity. Maybe when you takeover for President Obama, America really will see that orange is the new Black. Maybe colleges and universities will make getting their version of education worth it to the African-American man; but it’s really hard for me to see that when the Board of Education has always been against brown.

I feel like I haven’t mentioned your name in awhile and I hope that hasn’t encouraged you to build a wall around my words. If it has, just know that as a struggling recent college graduate, I can’t afford to pay for it.

Donald, thank you for beating Lying Ted. As a Texan, I truly appreciate that. I heard about that document that all of the Republican candidates signed saying they would support whoever the nominee is. Thanks for showing us that “there’s nothing we can do” shouldn’t cut it anymore, because clearly they can change the status-quo. And you even managed to bring people together! Look at all of the Republicans putting their disdain for each other aside, so that they may come together against you. Some Republicans and Democrats alike are willing to come together to tastefully support Hillary Clinton. However, as we know that is contingent that she grants access to her email server. You truly have already made America great again. The people are ACTUALLY PAYING ATTENTION TO POLITICS!!!!!! The people are actually planning to make moves toward the polls! You’ve made America vote again. And for this cause, I thank you for your patronage. You’re bringing us together, even if it is to keep “us” from voting for you.

Signed,

The Holder of Truths That Are Self-Evident

Address To The Union

I will NOT apologize for post on my page.
I will NOT apologize for post on my page.
I will NOT apologize for post on my page.
I will NOT apologize for post on my….

Okay guys. *Mentally prepares for a humbling moment* I know that sometimes my post can be a little…CHILDISH. So, I’m turning over a new leaf. I want you guys to tell me EXACTLY what I should be posting. I truly mean it. The old me would’ve said that if you don’t like my post, then you have an option not to see them at your immediate disposal. BUT that’s not right. You see, you guys are what make my page MY PAGE!!!!!! It has very little to do with me!

So get to it. Yal tell me what I should post (or post about next), and I’ll do it for the next rest of my life.